Sunday, April 24, 2005

Donnie Darko vs Star Wars: A number one tragedy

George Lucas, short on cash after spending his fortunes on virtual reality Jar Jar porn has decided that is is time for another re re release of the original Star Wars trilogy.

Elsewhere, on the planet Earth, Richard Kelly, now paranoid after an incident involving a crazed Donnie Darko Fan, a Jet Engine and Kelly's house, decides that these assaults on his life will stop if he releases another Donnie Darko edit prepares a new film reel.

Both directors have realized the insanity much of their fan base posesses. Both directors enjoy this. Will this be the clash of titans?

Meanwhile, back at his humble Donnie Darkotorium, Donald sits watchin on his pair of televisions the Director's Cut and Original Cut of his favorite film. Twirling above him is a miniature jet engine, looking earily like the one that fell on the Director's abode.

In a darker place, where the Sith cannot find him, Walter sits stroking his Authentic Replica green hued lightsaber watching on not two but twelve televisions all the different releases of A New Hope; hoping that soon he will have the pleasure of giving his lord George Lucas 8 more dollars at the theater.

Or will it be these two who will reigh DOOM onto the populace?

I got bored at this point, but imagine a massive battle between the forces of evil and other-evil. There would be lots of funny lines, great special effects, and of course, a super-nerd fan base for me to control.